Wholock: A Random Visit
by IBegToDreamAndDiffer
Summary: The Doctor pays a visit to some old friends, the Holmes brothers, and takes a keen interest in their love lives. Features Mystrade, Johnlock, Janto, & Ten/Rose. See warnings inside.
1. There's A Police Box In The Kitchen

**WHOLOCK**

**A RANDOM VISIT**

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_**A random story I came up with about a month ago. Doctor Who/Sherlock/Torchwood crossover. The Doctor pays a visit to the Holmes brothers and takes a keen interest in their love lives. Will feature characters from Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Torchwood. See warnings inside.**_

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**Author's Note:**

**Main Pairings: **Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Gregory Lestrade, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones

**Side Pairings: **The Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Anthea/Sally Donovan, DI Dimmock/Molly Hooper, past Mycroft Holmes/Jack Harkness

**Warnings: **Possibly m/m slash, swearing, and other stuff. Currently very PG-rated.

**Disclaimers: **Sherlock belongs to the BBC, Mark Gatiss, and Steven Moffat. The original characters belong to Arthur Conan Doyle. Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. Torchwood belongs to the BBC and Russel T. Davies. I own nothing but the plot and make no money from this story.

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**Chapter One: There's A Police Box In The Kitchen**

John didn't _quite_ understand what he was looking at... well, he could see that it was a police box; one of those really old ones, made of wood, blue, with a lamp-type light sitting atop it. So yeah, he got _that_.

What he failed to understand was just _why_ an old-fashioned blue police box with a lamp-type light sitting atop it was in his bloody kitchen.

John had got used to coming home and seeing weird stuff; rotting flesh on the kitchen table; severed heads/fingers/limbs in the freezer or fridge; maggots frozen into giant wibbly-wobbly green jelly; and even Sherlock naked once, lying on the couch, and touching himself.

All of _that_ John could handle, because they were just some of the many byproducts of living with one Mr Sherlock Holmes.

But a police box... a _police_ box... why? John just... he didn't... WHY WAS THERE A BLOODY POLICE BOX SITTING IN THE KITCHEN OF 221B?!

'An aquaintance of mine left it here.'

John turned to see Sherlock- dressed in a purple shirt, dark blue trousers, and his favourite dressing gown- leaning against the doorframe, watching John watching the police box.

'Erm... what?' John said.

Sherlock sighed. 'An aquaintance of mine left it here,' he repeated.

'An aquaintance...'

Sherlock nodded.

'Left it here...'

Sherlock nodded again.

'Left a _police box_ in our _kitchen_?'

... Sherlock nodded.

John groaned and rubbed his eyes. Was he missing something? Had he accidently drank one of Sherlock's experiments?

'What... _why_?' John asked.

'He's not very good at parking,' Sherlock said dismissively. 'Don't worry, it won't be here for long.'

'He's not good at... what?' John followed Sherlock into the sitting room, the younger man flopping onto the couch.

'He just went out for a minute to see Mycroft; they'll both be back soon enough,' Sherlock said.

'He... Mycroft...' John didn't think he was coming off as very smart- another byproduct of living with Sherlock- and tried his hardest to put together a complete sentence. 'So, let me get this right,' John said, Sherlock glancing at him. 'You have a mate- sorry, _aquaintance_- who... _parked_ a blue police box in our kitchen because he's not very good at parking, and he just stepped out for a minute to see Mycroft, and they're both coming here... do I have the right?'

'Yes,' Sherlock nodded.

'Right... right... _what_?'

A smirk pulled at Sherlock's lips and he stretched, long, lithe body covering the entire sofa. Sherlock linked his fingers behind his head and said, 'Don't worry, John. We'll explain everything when he gets back.'

John rubbed his eyes and sighed, finally giving in. Fine; _fine_. If Sherlock had some bloody weirdo mate who liked carting around police boxes, _fine_. John would just go to the pub, maybe give Greg a call.

'Right, okay,' John said, pulling his coat off. 'This bloke, what's his name, then?'

John fell to sit in his armchair as Sherlock grinned widely, bright blue eye's on the ceiling.

'Sherlock?'

'The Doctor,' Sherlock said, John raising an eyebrow. 'He's called the Doctor.'

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**Author's Note: **So yeah, this is something random I came up with about a month ago. I posted it on Tumblr, and today I wrote another chapter, so I figured I'd put it on AO3 and this website so... here it is! Random Wholock!

{Dreamer}


	2. Chocolate Cake Is Yummy

**Chapter Two: Chocolate Cake Is Yummy**

Mycroft glanced up from the documents he was reading to see Anthea- or Artemis, Millie, Byron, whatever she was going by- standing in the doorway of his office. He raised an eyebrow when he saw that the young woman had her hands by her side, BlackBarry clasped in her right hand.

'Can I help you, my dear?'

Anthea nodded slowly before she blinked rapidly and said, 'There's a man here to see you.'

'A man?' Mycroft queried. Anthea nodded again. 'Does he have an appointment?'

'No...' Anthea said, 'but he has a piece of blank paper in a black wallet, and he claimed to be someone important, but as I said the paper is blank. He asked for you, and somehow got through our security.'

Mycroft frowned and closed the folder spread across his desk. 'A man?' he repeated. Another nod from Anthea. 'What does he look like?'

'Wild brown hair, dark brown eyes, very tall and skinny,' Anthea described. 'He's wearing a brown pinstriped suit and a brown coat.'

'Did he give a name?' Mycroft asked, wondering if perhaps this was someone from one of those secret organisations that never managed to stay secret for long.

'He called himself the Doctor,' Anthea said seconds before the man in question pushed the door open.

'Mycroft!' he shouted and Mycroft jolted, eyes widening as they settled on the man.

He was silent all of three seconds before he smiled and stood. 'Doctor,' he smiled, waving Anthea aside, the woman having gone for the gun she kept in her jeans. 'Regeneration?' he asked, walking around his desk.

The Doctor grinned and rubbed a hand through his hair, the spiky locks bouncing back to attention. 'Ah, yeah, had a bit of a problem with the TARDIS and Daleks and... well, ya know how it goes.'

'Indeed,' Mycroft mused, eyes running over the alien. 'Tenth?' he asked. The Doctor nodded and Mycroft smiled.

'You've lost weight,' the alien declared.

Mycroft chuckled. 'Well you're the only one who seems to think so.'

'Ah, Sherlock and his barbs,' the Doctor smiled.

Mycroft inclined his head before he turned to Anthea. 'That'll be all for now, my dear.'

'Yes, Mr Holmes,' Anthea nodded, stepping from the office and shutting the door.

'I like her,' the Doctor beamed. 'Very smart; brilliant, actually.'

'She wouldn't be working for me if she wasn't,' Mycroft said.

The Doctor chuckled. 'I haven't met her before; she new?'

'Actually, she's been working for me for just over two years,' Mycroft said.

'Ah, yeah, I'm not that great at keeping time,' the Doctor admitted, smiling ruefully.

'And yet you claim to be a Time Lord,' Mycroft said, smirking at the affronted look on the Doctor's face.

'I _am_ a Time Lord!'

'Mm-hmm,' Mycroft hummed. 'Can I get you a drink?'

'Just a water, thanks,' the Doctor said, looking around the office as Mycroft walked to the drinks cart in the corner.

'I take it you've been running amok?'

The Doctor again looked affronted, dark brown eyes widening. 'Why would you assume that?' he demanded. Mycroft stared at him, a glass tumbler in one hand, a bottle of scotch in the other. When he continued to stare the Doctor grinned and said, 'Yeah, bit of trouble in London with some aliens. Don't worry, all sorted.'

'I haven't heard anything,' Mycroft said, passing the Time Lord a glass of water while he picked up his alcohol.

'S'cause I took care of it,' the Doctor said. He slurped down his drink and continued to look around the office.

'Usually when you take care of things there's explosions, wreckage,' Mycroft hummed.

The Doctor turned to flash him a grin before looking back at Mycroft's bookcase. Mycroft sat on the sofa against the wall, folding his legs and observing the Doctor.

'No companion?' Mycroft finally asked.

'Ah, Rose, she's visiting her mum and that,' the Doctor said. 'Lost her a while back but... I found her again, we're travelling again. Just dropped her off to see Jackie and Mickey.' He paused, head bowing slightly. He shook his head suddenly and said, 'So, how's things?'

'The same as usual,' Mycroft said. 'Politicians being annoying, aliens trying to make Earth their home, Torchwood and UNIT messing everything up.' He paused. 'But of course you'd know all about Torchwood.'

The Doctor sighed.

'I made sure to aquire all the items UNIT picked up from Canary Wharf,' Mycroft said. 'Spoke to a lovely young woman; Dr Martha Jones.'

The Doctor turned from where he'd been inspecting the large books packed into the bookcase. He grinned broadly. 'Good old Martha, how is she?'

'Working for UNIT,' Mycroft said. 'Seems a certain eccentric alien with a blue box placed a few calls.'

The Doctor was still grinning. 'Yeah, well, Martha deserves the best after what happened.'

'Yes, the year that never was,' Mycroft said.

The Doctor chuckled and shook his head. ''Course you'd know all about that.'

'Of course,' Mycroft agreed, swirling his drink. He took a sip before saying, 'Torchwood is still active, you know.' That seemed to surprise that Doctor, who turned to give the other man his full attention. 'It's run out of Torchwood Three, or Torchwood Cardiff, now,' Mycroft continued. 'A select group of oddballs who help and try to understand aliens rather than just kill them. Of course, there's still killing, the leader does so enjoy his guns.'

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and Mycroft smiled.

'Come now, Doctor, do you really expect me to believe that you don't know?' Mycroft asked.

'I want to see if _you_ know,' the Doctor said. 'The new Torchwood isn't known for working well with the government.'

'Well I have a special relationship with them,' Mycroft said, blushing slightly when the Doctor's eyebrows jumped. 'No need for that, Doctor.'

'You aren't still running around with Jack, are you?' the Doctor asked as he dropped into Mycroft's chair, looking over the stuff on his desk.

'No, no,' Mycroft shook his head. 'Jack is like... chocolate cake,' he said, making the Doctor look up at him. 'Good to look at and delicious, but bad for you in large quantities.'

The Doctor burst out laughing and nearly dropped his glass, making Mycroft sigh when drops of water hit the rich wood. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' the Doctor gasped. 'But that is _the_ best description of the good Captain I've ever heard.'

Mycroft smiled, swirling his drink again and sipping, enjoying the way the amber liquid burned down his throat.

'So no more Jack?' the Doctor asked, leaning back and linking his fingers behind his head.

'Apart from the odd call about aliens and such, no, no more Jack,' Mycroft shook his head. 'Besides, I believe he's currently captivated by a man he works with...' He trailed off, head tilted as he searched his mind for the correct information. 'A Ianto Jones,' he finally said.

'Sleeping with the employees?' the Doctor mused.

'Now, you can hardly talk, Doctor,' Mycroft said, raising an eyebrow.

The 900-year-old alien blushed and said, 'Rose is different. We don't work together.'

'Mm-hmm,' Mycroft hummed, finishing off his glass. He stood to re-fill it before joining the Doctor, sitting before his desk because the alien was still in his seat. 'Young Mr Jones isn't like everyone else,' Mycroft continued. 'Jack actually cares for him.'

'Really?' the Doctor asked.

Mycroft nodded. 'It was a bit touch and go in the beginning, what with Jack being immortal and all, but he says Mr Jones wore him down and they're now dating.'

'Captain Jack dating,' the Doctor mused, leaning further back. 'Well, how about that.'

Mycroft smiled.

'And what about you, Mycroft?' the Doctor asked, dark brown eyes suddenly narrowing. 'Have you moved on from the whirlwind that is Jack?'

'It was never anything serious,' Mycroft said. 'A bit of fun for two, three months, before Ianto Jones started working for Torchwood. I can hardly compete with a young, gorgeous man in the prime of his life.'

'Don't sell yourself short, Mycroft,' the Doctor said. 'You're brilliant.'

'You say that about everyone.'

'Well, most people _are_ brilliant, just in different ways,' the Doctor shrugged. 'You're brilliant too.' He paused, head tilted, eyes suddenly softening. 'So there's no one special in Mycroft Holmes' life?'

Mycroft hesitated, blue eyes flicking from the Doctor to his glass, before he shook his head. 'Unfortunately, no.'

'Ah, well,' the Doctor smiled. 'You'll find a man soon enough.'

Mycroft raised his glass tumbler slightly before taking a drink.

'And Sherlock?' the Doctor asked.

Mycroft chuckled. 'John Watson,' he said simply.

'Mm, I thought there was something there,' the Doctor grinned. 'Sherlock loves to talk about him, doesn't he?'

'As of now, they are simply best friends and flatmates,' Mycroft explained. 'But...'

'But...?' the alien echoed.

'Well John is constantly saying he's not gay, Sherlock is always going on about being above such animalistic needs, yet the two cuddle on the couch, share food, and sometimes a bed.'

'Really?'

'Purely to sleep, but I know for certain there's snuggling going on.'

The Doctor giggled like a school boy and leapt forward, resting his elbows on the desk, face in his hands. 'Brilliant,' he grinned.

'I see the new body is rather... boyish,' Mycroft mused.

'Cheeky too, bit rude,' the Doctor said. 'And thin, _really_ thin.'

'You poor thing.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes and started fiddling with the documents on Mycroft's desk. 'Don't worry, I'm not looking,' the Doctor said, seeing Mycroft's eyes narrow. 'Besides, what can I do about one lot of humans going to war with another lot?'

'Plenty, if you so choose,' Mycroft said.

'But I don't choose,' the Doctor said, jumping to his feet again.

He started running his fingers along Mycroft's bookcase and the politician let him, just enjoying the time he had. The Doctor was always running around and Mycroft didn't get to see his friend that often. In fact, they'd only met six times, and four of those were on less than safe terms.

Suddenly the Doctor said, 'What's this?' breaking Mycroft from his thoughts and making him look up. All the colour drained from his face when he saw the plastic case the Doctor was holding. It was clear, unmarked, with a silver compact disk inside.

'That's nothing,' Mycroft said, jumping quickly to his feet.

The Doctor backed around the desk away from the politician, waving it about. 'You sure about that?'

'Yes,' Mycroft said. 'Hand it over.' He held out his free hand, glaring at the grin that was spreading across the Time Lord's face.

'Mycroft-'

'Give it back.'

'This was hidden between two books,' the Doctor hummed. 'If it was just secret government stuff you wouldn't care if I saw it. So, what is it?'

'Doctor-'

'What is it?'

'You're an annoying sod, did you know that?' Mycroft snapped, taking a swig of alcohol. The Doctor continued to grin and Mycroft sighed. 'Gregory.'

'Gregory?'

'Lestrade, of New Scotland Yard,' Mycroft elaborated. 'Detective Inspector Gregory Johnathan Lestrade to be exact.'

'Ah, so there _is_ someone,' the Doctor grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 'Are you spying on him?'

'I spy on everyone in Sherlock's life,' Mycroft said. The Doctor raised an eyebrow. 'Sherlock works with Gregory; Gregory lets him in on cases to keep Sherlock's mind busy. John helps.'

'I see,' the Doctor mused before finally handing the DVD back, Mycroft scowling. 'So you keep watch over him, do you?'

'Of course,' Mycroft said as he walked back to the bookcase. He slipped the DVD back into its hiding spot and turned to face the alien.

'You love him,' the Doctor said, eyes softening. Mycroft didn't answer. 'Does Gregory know?'

'No,' Mycroft shook his head.

'And why not?'

'He's straight,' Mycroft sighed. 'And recently divorced.'

'Don't give up hope, Mycroft,' the Doctor smiled. 'Men these days are more opened minded than they have been.'

'I doubt Gregory will ever look at me as more than an annoying bastard with a brolly.'

The Doctor chuckled loudly, shaking his head. 'Still got the brolly, huh?'

'I can hardly give up a gift from the famous Doctor, can I?' Mycroft said. 'Or should I say infamous?'

'Oi, that's not nice!' the Doctor said, trying to glare as he put his hands on his hips. Mycroft smirked. 'Fine, fine,' the Doctor continued, flapping his hands. 'Come on, lets go to Sherlock's. He promised I'd get to meet John Watson.'

'I suppose I can take a few hours,' Mycroft said, finishing his drink. He placed it on the trolley and went to his desk, the Doctor watching as he put everything away.

Mycroft grabbed his coat and shouldered it on before lifting his umbrella from the wall. The Doctor chuckled.

They exited the office and Anthea was immediately on her feet, texting as she walked with them to the elevator.

'221B Baker Street, sir?' Anthea asked.

'Yes, my dear,' Mycroft nodded.

The Doctor smiled at them both as the elevator opened, the three stepping inside. 'So, Anthea,' the alien said suddenly, making her blink and look up at him. 'Fancy helping me get Mycroft and Gregory together?'

Anthea grinned in delight and Mycroft groaned.

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**Author's Note: **I can't promise any more any time soon, but I'll most likely add some more chapters eventually. Hope you enjoyed it.

{Dreamer}


	3. We're Going To London!

**Chapter Three: We're Going To London!**

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**Author's Note: **This is the first Torchwood thing I've ever written, though I do plan on writing some longer Ianto/Jack stories. For now this is all I'm capable of, and hopefully it's not too OOC. Enjoy!

{Dreamer}

* * *

Ianto groaned when Jack's mobile started beeping. He and the immortal were curled up together in the bunker beneath Jack's office. Usually they went to Ianto's for the night- or _home _as Jack had started calling it. Ianto still got giddy every time he realised they were really together, that he really _was _dating Captain Jack Harkness.

The sounds of Jack's mobile buzzing across the bedside table broke Ianto from his thoughts and he rolled over, Jack groaning and trying to tug him back. Ianto ignored him and grabbed the phone, reading the caller ID: _MH_.

Ianto frowned. He'd seen Jack get calls from the mysterious _MH _in the past. He still had no idea who the man or woman was, just that Jack was likely to drop everything for them.

'Jack, phone,' Ianto said, rolling back over.

'Tired,' Jack mumbled, eyes still closed.

Ianto smiled as he looked over the naked man, never getting over how adorable Jack was when half asleep. 'It's MH,' he said.

Jack was awake immediately, grabbing the phone and flipping it open. 'Hello, gorgeous,' he answered, making Ianto roll his eyes.

'_Jack, lovely to hear your voice_,' came the smooth voice of Mycroft Holmes. '_Five rings, really?_'

Jack chuckled as he sat up, scrubbing a hand across his face. 'I was asleep.'

'_Usually you don't sleep through a call_.'

Jack looked over Ianto, who was stretching and lying back down. 'Yeah, well I've been sleeping better.'

'_Mr Jones, I take it?_' Mycroft asked.

'Yeah,' Jack nodded, even though Mycroft couldn't see him. Although, with the man's need to have eyes everywhere, he wouldn't put it past the British Government to have access to Torchwood cameras. 'So, business or pleasure?' Jack finally asked.

'_A little of both, I suppose_,' Mycroft said and Jack heard a car door open and close.

'Oh?' Jack asked. 'Miss me, do you?' he teased.

Ianto's eyes popped open and he scowled at the man, not that Jack saw him. Ianto had long been telling himself he shouldn't get jealous over Jack's exes; the man had been alive decades, of course he'd slept with and dumped his fair share of people.

But still, Ianto didn't like it, and he couldn't help the jealousy that clawed through his body. Meeting John Hart had been enough to tell Ianto that he hated anyone and anything that had seen Jack Harkness naked.

'_In a way that you miss a piece of chocolate cake after you've eaten it_,' Mycroft answered.

'Ouch,' Jack winced. 'Really, that hurts, Mycroft.'

_Mycroft?_ Ianto thought.

'And please stop referring to me as chocolate cake,' Jack continued. 'Although, I might make it a permanent nickname.'

'_You know what it was, Jack_,' Mycroft said, voice suddenly soft.

'Yeah, I know,' Jack said. 'But I _do _care about you. You know that, right?'

'_Of course I do_,' Mycroft said, the smile evident in his voice. '_Now if only Torchwood could stop messing everything up_.'

'Torchwood?' Jack blanched, making Ianto tilt his head. _So this Mycroft knows about Torchwood_, he mused. 'What about you lot, huh?' he demanded. 'Always sticking your noses in, getting bloody killed 'cause you refuse to believe aliens exist!'

'_The general population, and many men and women I work with, prefer to think about the human problems we can deal with, not the alien ones_.'

'Well you don't deal with the alien ones, do you?' Jack said. He crossed his legs and sat with his back to the wall, making Ianto roll over and look at him. 'UNIT and Torchwood do all that, and we do a damn good job.'

'_I never said you didn't_.'

'This is just you wanting to know _everything_,' Jack grumbled.

'_I know enough, Captain_.'

Jack chuckled. 'Yeah, yeah. I still remember when you first found out. Remember that?'

There was silence from Mycroft's end, and Jack knew they were thinking the same thing; the Doctor, Donna, a hell of a lot of aliens running loose in London, and Sherlock Holmes getting caught up in it.

'_Yes_,' Mycroft finally said. '_I didn't realise I'd get _you _out of it_.'

'You can get a shag anywhere, Mycroft,' Jack grinned. 'Always remember that.'

Ianto scowled.

'_Oh I know that now_,' Mycroft chuckled. '_Anyway, I didn't call to reminisce about our time beneath the sheets_.'

'I'm always open to remeniscing,' Jack grinned.

'_I can _hear _you leering, Jack_.'

'I always leer.'

'_And what would young Mr Jones say about that, hmm?_'

Jack paused, looking down at Ianto. Ianto tried to wipe his scowl away but Jack saw through it and sighed. The older man ran his fingers through Ianto's hair and said, 'Ianto has nothing to worry about.'

Ianto looked up at him and smiled, Jack grinning back.

'_That's good to hear, Jack_,' Mycroft said. '_I'd hate for you to die yet again over a jealous lover_.'

'Mm, that's happened _way _too many times,' Jack smiled.

'_Well if you kept your-_'

'Yeah, yeah,' Jack cut in, hearing Mycroft laugh. 'Anyway, why'd you call? Can't just be that you missed my sexy voice.'

Mycroft chuckled again. '_I called to say I received a visitor today_.'

'Oh?' Jack asked.

'_The Doctor_.'

Jack jolted, almost throwing Ianto from the bed and smacking his head into the wall. He winced and rubbed a hand through his hair before practically shouting, 'What?'

'_The Doctor is with me now_,' Mycroft continued. '_And he's promised to stick around long enough if you want to visit. I think he wants to meet your partner_.'

'Are you serious?' Jack demanded.

'_I'm always serious_,' Mycroft said. '_So can you be at 221B Baker Street sometime tomorrow? The Doctor's staying with my brother_.'

Jack was already scrambling across the bed, and Ianto, the Welshman wincing as he received a knee to the gut. 'Sorry,' Jack said as he started hunting around for his clothes. 'Keep the Doctor there, Mycroft, you hear me?' Jack said.

Ianto rolled onto his back before sitting up. 'The Doctor?' he questioned.

'I mean it,' Jack continued. 'If I come all the way to London and the Doctor skips out, I'll hold _you _responsible.'

'_Ooh, I'm shaking_,' Mycroft drawled. '_I promise, Jack_.'

'Good,' Jack said. 'And remember, I know you fancy that DI, and I can tell your brother all about our romps, alright?'

'_Jack, don't you dare tell Sherlock!_' Mycroft snapped.

'Keep that bloody Time Lord there and I won't!' Jack retorted. He paused and stood straight. 'It was good hearing from you.'

'_You too_,' Mycroft said, and Jack could tell he was smiling. '_I'll see you later._'

'Seeya, Mycroft,' Jack said before hanging up. He went back to hunting for his clothes before realising he was still covered in details of his and Ianto's nightly activities. He stood straight and turned to his partner.

'What was that all about?' Ianto asked.

'Um...' Jack hummed before smiling. 'Fancy a trip to London?'

{oOo}

It hadn't taken long to convince Ianto to go to London with him. Though the younger man was nervous about meeting Mycroft- British Government, past flame, bloody genius was how Jack described him- he really wanted to meet the Doctor.

Apart from some on-screen meetings, Ianto hadn't really met the Doctor properly. He knew the alien was important to Jack, and had saved Earth on more than one occassion. He wanted to make a good impression and make sure the Doctor knew that he was taking care of Jack.

So he'd quickly showered- fighting off Jack's hands- and headed home to pack for London. Jack had stayed behind to finish up some paperwork and when Ianto returned to the Hub, Owen, Tosh and Gwen where already there, with Jack still in his office.

_I wonder how Gwen will react_, Ianto thought as he started making coffee. It was no secret that the woman was still in love with Jack, even though she was married. Thankfully Jack had long stopped flirting with her.

After finishing the last of the paperwork, Jack stood and walked around his desk, crossing the office and heading out. He stood before the balcony and looked down at the Hub. Owen was cursing and sipping from a mug as he did paperwork, Tosh was doing something with her computers, and Gwen was staring into space and trying to look like she was working.

Jack's eyes immediately moved to Ianto, who was cleaning up the bench beside the coffee machine. He smiled stupidly, eyes roaming over the well-fitted charcoal-coloured suit the young man was wearing. Everything about Ianto was absolutely perfect and Jack's heart ached while his cock stirred.

He blinked and shook his head, knowing how Ianto felt about touching at work. Of course he was perfectly fine with the odd shag, but mostly he liked to keep professional at the Hub. But Jack did so enjoy professional Ianto.

Before his thoughts could become too dirty, Jack grabbed the railing and announced, 'We're going to London!'

'We are?' Gwen asked, turning to look at Jack sounding delighted.

'Not you,' Jack said, ignoring the look of disappointment on Gwen's face. The woman was married for gods' sake, and she _still _tried to get Jack into bed. 'Me and Ianto.'

'Me what?' Ianto demanded, looking up from the coffee machine. They'd decided to pretend that Ianto didn't know they were going. Though the team knew that they were shagging, everyone but Tosh still thought it was a "friends with benefits" type arangement. Owen had his suspicions, especially when Jack stopped flirting with Gwen, but Gwen was as oblivious as always.

Jack gave Ianto a flirtatious smile, which made the Welshman narrow his eyes. 'We're going to London,' Jack repeated.

'Why?' Ianto asked.

'Personal business,' Jack said. 'So come on, get some coffee to go.'

'Jack, you can't just run off to London,' Owen said, climbing the stairs from the autopsy room and standing beside Tosh, who'd finally looked away from her computer.

'Why not?' Jack said. 'The boss gave me time off.' The team stared at him. 'Oh come on,' he groaned, 'it'll only be a day, two or three at the most. There's someone I've gotta see, and a few people I want Ianto to meet.'

'I don't have a say in this, do I?' Ianto hummed.

'Nope,' Jack grinned, making the P pop.

Ianto sighed. 'Fine, _sir_, I'll go to London.'

Jack grinned at the word _sir _and Ianto rolled his eyes.

'What the bloody hell are we supposed to do, then?' Owen asked. 'Without Tea-Boy's coffee we won't last two hours.'

'Get takeaway,' Jack said, turning back to his office. 'Three hours, Ianto! Pack a bag!'

The rest of the team turned to look at Ianto, who shrugged. 'No idea.'

'Captain bloody Harkness,' Owen scoffed, heading back to autopsy.

'Why can't we all go?' Gwen pouted.

'Who'd watch the Rift?' Tosh said. 'Someone's gotta stay here.'

'You, Owen, and Ianto can,' Gwen said, keeping her voice low. 'I'm second in command, should be going with Jack.'

'You heard him; it's personal business, not Torchwood,' Tosh said. 'Of course he's taking Ianto.'

'Why?' Gwen demanded.

Tosh turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised. Before she could say anything Owen shouted, 'Give it up, Gwen! Tea-Boy's the only one Jack wants to shag!'

'Owen!' Ianto snapped. He heard Owen snicker and sighed as he worked the coffee machine.

_Hopefully this Mycroft knows to keep his hands to himself_, Ianto thought as he sipped his coffee.


	4. What Happened Then

**Chapter Four: What Happened Then**

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**Beta: **Candylizard101

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait, but this chapter was really hard to write. There's probably a lot of mistakes time-wise, but I've tried my best to remember what year Mycroft and Sherlock met the Doctor, when Mycroft and Jack were together, etcetera, but as I said, I've probably made some mistakes. All I really wanna do is have Mystrade, Johnlock, Rose/Doctor, Janto, and see some flashbacks of Mycroft and Jack getting it on.

Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, and a big thanks to the lovely **Candylizard101 **for beta-ing for me.

{Dreamer}

* * *

Rose smiled as she leaned back on the sofa. It had taken a while, but her mum and dad finally had their flat the way they wanted it. They lived in the same building as Mickey and Martha, who had helped out quite a bit money wise. Pete hadn't been able to bring any money over from the parallel world, but that was because they'd literally fallen through a hole in time and space and landed back on the Earth Rose had grown up on.

It had been an insane three weeks of the Tylers falling back and forth through some kind of rip. Rose didn't know how to explain it; it was like one minute they were on the Parallel Earth, reading or eating or just walking, and the next all four of them- Rose, Jackie, Pete and Tony- were ripped through time and space, their bodies twisted and broken apart through the worm-hole, before they were fused back together and dropped back on _this _Earth.

The first time they'd ended up in Australia, in the middle of the Outback, wandering around and trying to work out where they were. And then they fell again, through a large white crack, and were back in Pete's large house.

It happened again and again and again; Argentina, the Thames, the middle of the rain forest, Buckingham Palace, South Korea and Rome. And every time they were unscathed, just shaken and sore.

Until, once again, they landed on this Earth, in England, just in time to see the TARDIS crash land and get swept up in the newest alien invasion, Sherlock Holmes, Torchwood and the British Government.

The Doctor had tried to explain it to the Tylers, really he had. But there's only so much "wibbly-wobbly", "worm-hole craziness", "particles on you from travelling through time caused you to fall", and "aliens really have no idea what they're doing, messing with time", Rose and her family could take before they gave up and accepted that they were here, back again, _for real_ because the Doctor had fixed everything for good.

So Martha and Mickey, not material people, had helped get them a place to live, furniture, and all the odds and ends the Tylers needed. It had been Jack, Martha and Mycroft Holmes together using their influence in the government to get the Tylers' status' changed from "missing" to "alive". Rose hadn't seen Jack yet but was looking forward to catching up with the immortal.

Rose would forever be grateful to Mickey and Martha, not that her friends cared. They didn't want the money back, they were just happy to have Rose and her family safe and sound.

Currently Martha was at work while Mickey had taken the day off to see Rose. Rose was travelling with the Doctor again but the Time Lord made sure to come back for two weeks every month to let Rose visit her family. Jackie made sure her daughter visited often and the Doctor agreed; he didn't like getting slapped by mums.

Pete was working for UNIT- strictly in the office- and Jackie was spending all her time taking care of a five-year-old Tony Tyler, while Rose travelled once again with the Doctor.

Rose had been all smiles when she hugged Mickey and made him tea, the best friends sitting in the lounge room to catch up. Rose hadn't gone into too much detail when Mickey had first seen her. So now was the time to catch up properly.

'What happened to the human Doctor?' Mickey asked suddenly after a few minutes of silence. He watched as pain flashed over Rose, making her youthful face darker, older.

'He, uh... he died,' Rose said.

Her fingers were white where they gripped her mug, and her face had taken on an ashen quality. Her normally bright brown eyes were dark with sorrow and Mickey immediately regretted asking.

'A robbery gone wrong.' Rose took a deep, shuddering breath. 'He was protecting me- he _always _protected me.' She smiled slightly, but it was a pained gesture, one that told of how much she'd cared about the human-Time Lord hybrid. 'He died in my arms,' she whispered, her eyes locked onto a spot on the wall, head bent and entire body hunched over.

Suddenly there were tears brimming in her eyes, and her hands shook, spilling tea down her skin. Mickey placed his own cup on the coffee table and sat beside his best friend. He wrapped an arm around Rose and the young woman fell into his body, shaking and giving him breathless sobs.

'He just... just d-died,' Rose choked out.

'Shh, it's okay,' Mickey whispered.

'He was... g-gone, just... g-g-gone,' Rose stuttered. She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain, feeling grief and sorrow and everything else she'd felt when she lost the human Doctor well up again.

It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It had been worse than losing the _real _Doctor. But he had still been alive, flying across all of time and space, saving people and showing others the mysteries of the universe.

And the human Doctor- _her _Doctor- had just stopped breathing, stopped moving, the usual intelligent twinkle in his dark brown eyes squashed because of a stupid, human bullet.

Neither knew how long they sat there, Rose crying and remembering, Mickey trying to hush her and bring her back. He wished he could take her pain away, live with it himself, but all he could do was hold his best friend and try to comfort her.

What felt like hours later, but was probably only about half-an-hour, Rose pulled back and rubbed at her wet, tear-swollen eyes. She gave Mickey a small, shakey smile and Mickey smiled back.

He handed her back her tea and Rose took large gulps, trying to pull herself together, while Mickey disappeared briefly to grab some tissues.

After Rose had blown her nose and cleaned herself up, Mickey said, 'Alright there?'

'Yeah,' she breathed heavily. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be stupid,' Mickey shook his head. 'You lost someone you loved.'

Rose nodded and rubbed her eyes again.

'I'm sorry,' Mickey said.

Rose just nodded.

Mickey decided to move on from the human Doctor and said, 'So, how'd you run into the Doctor?'

Rose looked up at him and took a deep breath. 'Um... about the five or sixth time we fell through the hole between the parallel worlds. We were in London and some aliens invaded. The Doctor crash landed here after being hit by one of their ships. We literally ran into each other, I... I couldn't believe it.'

Rose blinked rapidly and took another gulp of tea.

'He saved the Earth, of course,' she said and gave her best friend a small smile. 'The Holmes brothers helped too, Mycroft and Sherlock. It's amazing what they can do when they're not fighting.'

'They fight a lot?' Mickey asked.

Rose laughed softly and nodded. 'Yeah, they have a real sibling rivalry. For all their intelligence, they can act like five-year-olds.'

'I've heard of the older one, Mycroft,' Mickey said. 'A big shot in the government, practically everyone's boss. Knows all about Torchwood, UNIT, and the Doctor.'

'It's hard to keep anything from Mycroft Holmes,' Rose smiled. She leaned back on the sofa, the pain from earlier melting away to be replaced by warmth and friendliness.

'Martha likes him,' Mickey said. 'I heard Jack _really _likes him.'

Rose chuckled and shook her head, taking a sip of tea before speaking. 'Well, Jack likes _everyone_,' she said, sharing a knowing look with her best friend. 'I know Martha's worked with Mycroft before, but she was vague. How is she, anyway?'

'Good,' Mickey nodded. 'In Cardiff on some assignment with UNIT. Torchwood took the aliens and left UNIT to deal with the human aspect of things; witnesses destruction, stuff like that.'

'Mum was tellin' me about that,' Rose nodded. 'Somethin' about a small space ship crashing?'

Mickey nodded. 'The aliens weren't a threat, so Torchwood took 'em, I think Jack was gonna send 'em home. A few people witnessed it all and the ship caused some damage. Martha went to treat a few cases of shock and just some scratches and things. It's small, she didn't need my input.'

'Aww, married life not treating you right?' Rose teased.

'I'll have you know my marriage is more than _right_, Rose Tyler,' Mickey said, puffing out his chest and earning a giggle from the woman sitting opposite him.

'I'm glad, Mickey,' she smiled. 'Real glad.'

'Thanks,' Mickey said. 'And hey, I'm glad too; you got the Doctor back, your parents and brother are safe... everything's right.'

'Yeah,' Rose nodded.

'It all turned alright, eh?'

Rose nodded again.

'So, do I get to meet these Holmeses?' Mickey asked.

'If you want, I s'pose,' Rose said. 'The Doctor's with 'em now, wanted to see how they're gettin' on. Said he'd call when he settled in and promised not to leave me behind.'

'He'd better not,' Mickey said, grabbing a digestive from the tray Rose had set out. 'Imagine ol' Jackie if he abandoned you?'

'Did you just call me _old_, Mickey Smith?' Jackie demanded as she walked into the sitting room. She went straight to Tony, who was busy making exploding noises as he stabbed at the PSP Mickey had given him.

'Nah, 'course not,' Mickey said, shaking his head violently while Rose smirked. 'Never, Jacks, you know you're not old- _never_.'

Jackie looked at her daughter, who had a hard time wiping the smile off her face. ''Course he didn't, Mum.' She beamed brightly and Jackie tutted.

'You young people,' she said.

Before Rose and Mickey could try and defend themselves, the front door burst open and the Doctor strolled in.

'Doctor!' Tony shouted when he saw the alien. Rose and Mickey both smiled at the young boy as he threw his PSP aside and leapt at the Doctor.

'Tony,' the Doctor beamed as he hugged the human back. He set Tony on the floor and looked him up and down. 'Have you gotten bigger since I left?'

'Maybe,' Tony grinned. 'I'll be ten next month.'

'A good, strong age,' the Doctor nodded.

'Mummy said you're over nine-hundred,' Tony said with wide eyes. 'Are you?'

'Yup,' the alien confirmed.

'Wow,' Tony giggled. 'You're _old_.'

'Tone, don't be rude,' Jackie tutted.

'Sorry,' Tony apologised but the Doctor just laughed.

'Nah, s'alright,' he said. He leaned closer to the boy and whispered loudly, 'I _am _old!'

Tony giggled again and Jackie held her hand out. 'Come on, Tony, gotta clean your room.'

Tony pouted but did as he was told, waving to the group as he followed his mother down the hallway.

Rose stood to hug her partner tightly and the Time Lord beamed, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. Mickey was glad when he didn't feel any jealousy; for so long he'd loved Rose, but now he had Martha.

Mickey's attention was drawn from the happy couple to the man who had followed the Doctor in. He was now closing the door and when he turned back he smiled politely at Mickey.

'Myc!' Rose said and smiled brilliantly. Mycroft chuckled as he received an enthusiastic hug from the blonde woman. 'How are you?'

'I'm quite fine, thank you,' Mycroft said. 'And you? Is your family settling in okay?'

'Yeah, Martha and Mickey helped a lot,' Rose said. Mycroft raised an eyebrow at that and Rose said, 'Oh, yeah.' She moved aside and gestured at Mickey, who was still sitting on the couch. 'This is my best mate, Mickey Smith. His wife, Martha, used to travel with the Doctor too.'

'Nice to meet you,' Mickey said and stood. He shook the mystery man's hand.

'A pleasure,' Mycroft nodded. 'I've met your wife; she's an intelligent young woman.'

Mickey smiled at that. 'Did you travel with the Doc?' he asked, wondering how this man knew their favourite alien.

Mycroft chuckled. 'Good heavens, no. I work for the British Government.'

Mickey frowned. Wait, this man wasn't...

'We met in London, 2005, when the Floe'on invaded,' Mycroft continued.

'The Floe'on?' Mickey questioned.

'Giant green blob-like aliens that absorb electronics,' the Doctor explained. 'They were hiding out in people's iPod's and killing them- accidentally, of course, the Floe'on aren't violent creatures.'

'The Doctor eventually found them a planet where they could live with the local population,' Rose told Mickey. 'And with Mycroft's help we figured out how to talk to them.'

'I now speak Floeish fluently,' the Doctor beamed. 'The TARDIS was having an off day and couldn't translate the Floe'on language, but I've fixed that now.'

'Again with Mycroft's help,' Rose added.

'And Sherlock,' Mycroft nodded.

'So you met the Doctor because a bunch of aliens invaded Earth?' Mickey asked Mycroft.

The older man nodded. 'How else does one meet the Doctor?'

'Oi, was that a stab at me?' the Doctor demanded.

'Did you see it as one?' Mycroft asked.

'I don't know,' the Doctor admitted with a grin. 'I have no idea how your mind works, Mycroft Holmes.'

Mickey's mouth fell open at that. Mycroft Holmes. It was _Mycroft Holmes_! God, how could he be so stupid? This was the liaison between UNIT, Torchwood, and the government. And not only did he do that- and do it _very _well- but he was practically in charge of MI5, MI6, the SAS, and God knows how many other branches of Britain's defence force.

He _was _the British Government.

'Holy crap,' Mickey gaped.

The other three had turned to him, but Jackie re-entered before they could ask about his outburst.

'So, Doctor, you're back,' she smiled. 'And you brought a friend?' she continued when she saw Mycroft.

'Mycroft Holmes,' the red-head nodded at her. 'I apologise for the impromptu gathering, but the Doctor came to visit my brother and me earlier. We're just here to collect Rose.'

'You are?' Rose and Jackie said at the same time.

'We thought you might like to see Sherlock again,' the Doctor explained.

'Oh yeah,' Rose nodded. 'I haven't seen him in months.'

'Years, for us,' Mycroft said. 'You last saw us in 2009 for a few hours. It's now 2012.'

'Oh,' Rose blinked. 'You don't look any older, Mycroft.'

Mycroft smiled. 'Thank you, my dear.'

'But you're still having dinner with us, right?' Jackie interrupted.

''Course, Mum,' Rose beamed, turning to face the older blonde.

'Jack's coming down tonight with his partner,' the Doctor said, 'but he'll be meeting us at Sherlock's tomorrow morning so we can spend the day with them, maybe have dinner after.'

'There ya go, Mum,' Rose said. 'The Doctor and I are perfectly free tonight.'

Jackie rolled her eyes and said, 'Alright, alright, get going. No later than nine, missy.'

Even though Rose was well into her twenties, her mum still worried all the time. Rose couldn't really blame her after everything that had happened. Jackie was still worried the Doctor was going to disappear with her daughter. But he was keeping his promise this time; every month he returned Rose safe and sound for a visit.

Rose walked across the room and kissed her mum's cheek. 'Thanks, Mum.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Jackie chuckled. 'Mickey, you goin' with them?'

Mickey looked at the group- Rose and the Doctor were both smiling, while Mycroft remained passive- and said, 'Nah, I'll catch up with 'em tomorrow. I'd like to see Jack again. Martha's comin' home around midnight, I'd rather not miss her.'

'We'll be back before then,' Rose said.

Mickey just laughed. 'Yeah, right. You'll be 'alfway to this Sherlock's place and end up battling some alien race to save earth.'

'That doesn't happen _that _often,' the Doctor pouted.

'I'll sit this one out, mate,' Mickey shook his head. 'You go see your friends,' he said to Rose, who hugged him.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek and said, 'It was good catching up.'

'Yeah,' Mickey agreed, 'I'll see ya tomorrow, ar'right?'

Rose nodded and the Doctor said goodbye to Mickey and Jackie before the three left. Mickey sat back on the sofa and breathed out.

'Wow, Mycroft Holmes,' he mused.


	5. Weird Stuff Happens Around Us

**Chapter Five: Weird Stuff Happens Around Us**

The Doctor was practically vibrating in his seat and Mycroft watched, amused, as the alien tried not to snap his neck staring out the window.

'You've been to London countless times, Doctor,' he said.

Rose smiled as she watched the Doctor turn to Mycroft. 'But it's _brilliant_,' he said, like a child trying to convince his parents just how awesome a certain toy he wanted was. 'Look at them all, bustling around, going about their business. It's... it's...'

'Brilliant?' Rose offered.

The Doctor grinned at her. 'Exactly!'

Mycroft snorted delicately and went back to tapping at his BlackBerry, while the Doctor's attention was once again on London passing by the window.

They were heading for 221B Baker Street to collect Sherlock- and most likely John- for dinner. Mycroft had tried to explain to Rose that 221B wasn't a place you wanted to actually eat; his brother enjoyed experimenting on any and all food available, while you would most likely find human remains in various places. The only safe thing was the tea; Sherlock would never mess with John's tea.

Rose was getting the feeling that there was something between Sherlock and John. She'd asked outright if John was Sherlock's boyfriend, but Mycroft had just smiled and said his brother was currently single, while the Doctor had grinned mischievously at her. Rose had to wonder just how long Sherlock would remain single with the Doctor's interference.

Still, she was excited about seeing Sherlock again. She hadn't since, apparently, 2009. With the way the Doctor travelled, all the time lines were screwed up. She'd met Mycroft at least three or four times, but the second time had been the brothers' first meeting and Rose's second, while the third had been the brothers' second meeting and Rose's first, and the Doctor had met Mycroft a few times in his ninth regeneration, before Rose had met them but after Mycroft had met _them_, and... she shook her head.

Things had happened in Mycroft's past that would happen, apparently, in Rose's future- he'd mentioned something about fighting an alien that the Doctor hadn't gone up against yet, and Mycroft had just smiled afterwards and said, "Oh, mustn't have happened yet." Usually, Rose tried not to think about it; it just gave her a headache.

And that wasn't even considering _Jack's _personal time line with Mycroft. She wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole.

Finally, the car drew to a halt on a fairly empty street, and the Doctor was out of the car before Mycroft could even put his mobile away. The politician smiled and Rose did too before they both climbed out of the car.

'Hurry up, you two!' the Doctor ordered and knocked loudly on the front door of 221.

'We're coming, we're coming,' Rose muttered. Sometimes the Doctor reminded her of her little brother; always rushing about, always hyperactive, always wanting to go places and meet new people. It made Rose love him that little bit more.

Mycroft and Rose joined the Time Lord on the front steps just as the door opened.

'Oh,' the elderly woman said with a smile, 'are you here for Sherlock and John?'

'Yup,' the Doctor grinned and thrust a hand out. 'I'm the Doctor.'

'Oh, I thought you had a case,' the woman smiled and shook the alien's hand. 'Sherlock mentioned you'd be by. I'm Mrs Hudson.'

'Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Hudson,' the Doctor beamed.

'I didn't see you there, Mycroft,' Mrs Hudson commented as she stepped aside for the Doctor to enter.

'Pleasure to see you again, Mrs Hudson,' Mycroft said politely.

'I'm Rose,' Rose offered when the door had been shut behind you. 'I'm with the crazy one,' she added, jerking a thumb at the Doctor.

The Doctor tried to look outraged, but just grinned after a second and bounced up the stairs. Mycroft flashed Mrs Hudson a small smile before following, and Rose chuckled.

'He reminds me of Sherlock,' Mrs Hudson said, her eyes watching the two men climb the stairs. 'Always rushing about.'

'They _are _very similar,' Rose nodded, just realising that herself. They were both highly intelligent, inquisitive, and slightly mad. 'Well, it was a pleasure to meet you. I'd better go make sure the Doctor doesn't cause any trouble.'

'Oh, I'm used to that, dear,' Mrs Hudson laughed and patted Rose on the shoulder. 'With Sherlock and John around, there's never a moment to relax.'

Rose smiled, said another goodbye, and walked up the steps. When she entered the flat, it was to hear Mycroft say, 'Gregory?'

{oOo}

'Gregory?' the Doctor echoed, turning from where he'd pulled a reluctant Sherlock into a bone-cracking hug.

'Lestrade, with New Scotland Yard,' Sherlock explained.

'_Oohh_,' the Doctor grinned as he looked Greg over. _I can _definitely _see the appeal_, he thought as he took in Greg's rugged, handsome features, that spiky grey hair and fit body. He turned to Mycroft, who fought hard to stop from blushing, before turning to face the two men staring at him. 'Hello, I'm the Doctor.'

'So we've been told,' John said. He was sitting on the sofa, his head was tilted to one side, dark blue eyes wide as he looked the Doctor up and down. Greg had been in the kitchen, clearly making a cup of tea, and sat beside John as the younger man asked, 'Are you really-?'

'Yup,' the Doctor cut in.

John blinked rapidly. 'So you're not hu-'

'Nope,' the Doctor said.

John glanced at the TARDIS, which was still taking up most of the room in the kitchen. 'And that's a-'

'Yeah.'

'And you travel through time and-'

'Oh yes,' the Doctor beamed.

John stared. 'Right...'

'You must be John,' the Doctor said, watching the soldier nod.

'Yeah, John Watson.'

'Sherlock's told me all about you,' the Time Lord smiled. 'Thinks the universe of you, that one.'

John blushed and glanced at Sherlock, thankful when he saw that Sherlock wasn't even looking his way. No, Sherlock was watching Greg, who's eyes were locked on the Doctor. Greg had that look in his eyes, the one he got when interrogating a suspect.

'John told you,' Sherlock stated.

'Yeah,' Greg said, eyes never once leaving the Doctor.

'Of course,' Sherlock drawled, blue eyes flicking to John. 'The first sign of something even remotely out of the ordinary and you call the most normal man in the universe.'

'Oi, was that an insult?' Greg demanded, glancing at the consulting detective.

'Did you hear it as one?' Sherlock asked, one eyebrow arched.

Greg blinked at him before a charming smile pulled at his lips, making Mycroft melt a little on the inside as he watched.

'Well, yeah,' the DI nodded, 'but I always hear insults when you speak.'

'Funny, I always hear, "punch me in the face",' John said.

'That too,' Greg grinned.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. 'There's no such thing as normal,' the Doctor piped in, drawing everyone's attention. 'Everyone's extraordinary,' the Doctor added.

'Not Anderson,' Sherlock grunted.

'What's wrong with Anderson?' Greg asked.

Sherlock glared at him. 'Well for one, he calls me "Freak".'

'That's horrible,' Rose frowned.

'He's an idiot,' Sherlock continued. 'And he insults me at every opportunity.'

'To be fair, Sherlock, you insult _him _too,' John said.

'Who's side are you on?' Sherlock demanded, rounding on his flatmate.

John held up his hands and said, 'Yours, always yours.'

Greg snickered and Sherlock's attention went back to him. 'You're taking this remarkably well.'

'Yeah, well, it's you,' Greg shrugged. 'Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes. You need business cards that say, "weird shit happens around me".'

'Ooh, you need one of those,' Rose said as she nudged the Doctor in the ribs. The Doctor grinned ruefully and rubbed a hand through his wild brown hair.

'Er... yeah, that'd actually save some time,' he admitted.

'You don't _look _like an alien,' Greg commented, making the Time Lord look at him. 'But it'd explain the Holmes brothers.'

'What?' Sherlock demanded while Mycroft raised an eyebrow.

'Well...' Greg said, glancing at John before his brown eyes flicked back to the two genii. 'You know; brilliant, insane, dangerous, mad... all that could be 'cause you're aliens.'

Sherlock snorted and Mycroft said, 'I assure you, Gregory, we aren't aliens.'

'At least not completely,' the Doctor mused. 'I'm sure there's some alien blood in there.'

'I knew it!' John shouted. Greg held up his right hand and made a sign that neither Sherlock, Mycroft, or the Doctor were familiar with; palm facing them, index and middle fingers joined, pinkie and second smallest finger joined, with a gap in-between.

John burst into laughter and Rose giggled too, while Mycroft, Sherlock, and the Doctor stared in confusion.

'Oh God, do yours get confused by pop culture too?' Rose asked.

John and Greg both nodded and the three all laughed louder.

'What on earth are they talking about?' Mycroft demanded.

'No idea,' Sherlock growled.

The Doctor just hummed, smiling at them all, not embarrassed in the least. It didn't go unnoticed by him that Rose referred to the three as _ours_; as in the Doctor was Rose's, Sherlock was John's, and Mycroft was Greg's.

He wondered if he could get Rose on board to get the politician and DI together and made a note to drag her away soon to discuss strategies. And who knows, maybe Sherlock and John would help too.

And after that, he'd get Sherlock and John together.

{oOo}

Sherlock had refused to go out to dinner when Mycroft suggested it, claiming he couldn't very well discuss aliens and other planets in a restaurant. After the third insult about his weight, Mycroft had given up and retreated into the kitchen to make tea. Rose was chatting to John like they were best friends, so Greg slipped out of the room and followed Mycroft.

'So..' he said, and smiled when Mycroft jumped slightly. 'Aliens, huh?'

'Mm,' Mycroft nodded. He went back to adding sugar to his mug. 'Aliens.'

'You don't find that... weird?' Greg asked.

Mycroft snorted. 'I had my freak out a while ago, Gregory. I've known the Doctor for years.'

'Yeah, I gathered,' Greg nodded. He leaned against the counter and folded his arms. 'It's a bit hard to believe, but at the same time not,' he continued, head tilted as he stared at the TARDIS. 'I mean, all the alien space ships over London, and the weird invasions, and those ghost things... it makes sense.'

'The general public prefer not to think about it,' Mycroft commented.

Greg laughed softly. 'Yeah, well... easier to fight things you know about, eh? If everyone realised just how vulnerable we are, there'd be mass rioting.'

'We're not vulnerable,' Mycroft corrected and poured hot water into his mug when the kettle boiled. 'There's Torchwood and the Doctor, and various other people out there who know just what kind of threat Earth is under.'

'Torchwood,' Greg echoed, frowning slightly. 'Who are they, again?'

'An organisation that fights to protect Earth as well as friendly aliens,' Mycroft told him. He stirred his tea and turned to face Greg. 'I'm good friends with the leader of Torchwood Three- or Torchwood Cardiff. They do a good job.'

'Right,' the DI nodded. 'And we're meeting them, yeah? I remember the Doctor mentioned, um... Jack-something?'

'Jack Harkness,' Mycroft said, and he smiled softly. 'Yes, Jack's coming to London to visit; we'll be meeting them tomorrow morning here.'

Greg's eyes narrowed slightly as Mycroft continued to talk about Jack; about his personality, his fashion style, his humour and flirting and blah, blah, blah. Greg had to wonder just how _well _Mycroft knew Jack, and had to fight himself not to show his outright jealousy.

'Right,' he finally said when Mycroft stopped talking about _Jack_. Greg already hated the bloke. 'Should be fun, huh?' he tried.

Mycroft laughed. 'Oh, you'll no doubt want to punch Jack after five minutes in his company.'

Greg quirked an eyebrow. 'Really?'

'Mm-hmm,' Mycroft nodded, sipping his tea. He smiled at Greg. 'I might even make a bet with Sherlock to see if it's within five or ten minutes of meeting him.' And with that, he walked back into the sitting room.

'Okay...' Greg breathed out slowly. Maybe Mycroft _hadn't _slept with and/or _was _sleeping with Jack, because he didn't seem too bothered about Greg apparently wanting to punch him. Then again, he hadn't minded that one time Greg had punched Sherlock in the face, and Sherlock was his _brother_.

Greg wondered just when the hell his life got so complicated.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So... I suddenly wanted to write some Wholock when I realised how long it'd been since I updated this story. I mean, I've got parts of it already written and planned, but Johnny gets distracted by shiny things and other stories, so... yeah. If this sucks, it's 'cause I literally wrote it in ten minutes while drinking coffee.

Here's to hoping that the next few chapters are easier to write, huh? :]

{Dreamer}


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